WHYYYYY????

Ouch...

Well it seems like my streak of bad luck with my automobile (name still pending) has been coming along unabated. The car i have been driving has gone through loads of fender-benders and it has gotten to a point whereby ive grown pretty sick of driving. The thing is, most accidents ive been in usually involve other fuckers on the road who are plain negligent. This most recent example happened coz a fucking cement mixer drove along MRR2 without securing its flappy-thingy at its rear, which constantly dripped huge chunks of debris flying onto roadgoers on that fateful night, and many hit my car, this one happened to hit my car alot harder, at a sensitive spot. SOB SOB...

But seriously one does wonder what we can do in such cases. Yes i can hear people screaming out to me "GO CLAIM FUCKING INSURANCE MORON!" well, i thank them for their wisdom but i retort by saying FUCK YOU. The sad truth is my reflexes are so focused on driving to the extent that my memory becomes forfeit. I admit, im not very good at multitasking, and my brain shuts off other activities while im driving. So when something happens, it just slips my mind till later when i contemplate on it and hit my own head for being so stupid while saying "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT??". And besides, claiming insurance will reset the No-Claim Bonus (NCB) every insurance holder has, therefore increasing the premium one has to pay every year. Im sure im not the only one who has problems dealing with such situations when it spontaneously arrives. (or am I??)

I just wish we had more traffic cameras on the road and the transport authorities could have solid proof on video of the idiot and his act, which caused damage. What i mean here is that i wish the transport authority could have more control over its roads, monitoring for miscreants who are the culprits of hit-and-run attacks, and the like. I mean come on. We are paying road tax, only for us to be all alone and unassisted when things like this happen to us. I just had a thought that the traffic authorities should have a more proactive role in safeguarding its motorists from such morons who pose a hazard to other road users.

I mean think about it: imagine if the debris hit motorcyclists (actually it would be good if it hit rempits :P) and hit their helmets or body parts with such velocity that was powerful enough to shatter the thick glass headlamp on my car. The effects could have been devastating. I wasnt on the road long enough to see the effects it had on other motorists but I am sure it was utter carnage.

All i'm saying is that I just want solid evidence of the fucker so i can go sue him for negligent driving on public roads, and I dont have it! Argh.. Well ill be off to junkyards to look at some spare parts to bolt on or replaced the cracked 'eye', and my fingers are crossed as to how much it will cost. Pray for me, or in this case, my wallet...

EzzE

Meeting of cuzzies!!

The last few weeks have been very very hectic, leaving my fingers pining to write something in my poor dusty blog. But here i am now! Rejoice people, for i have found a pocket of time to write some shit down!

Two weeks ago, i managed to meet my cousins from Singapore. It has certainly been awhile since i met my cousins and aunties from the country, and so the journey down south to Johore was filled with trepidation at the thought of missing them loads, as well as the fear of things getting ugly (between me and you, my dear reader, my family has had some tumultuous relations every now and then, but only with certain individuals) so imagine my palpable sigh of relief when i discovered that the people who would cause a potentially fucksome maelstrom were nowhere to be seen on that day! So we were all smiles, and the forecast for the 2 days we would spend would be absolutely no frowns! Here are names and descriptions of the cousins and aunties i met:

Umar (or Ramu, as he loves to call himself), age 17- Gaywad and one of the few male cousins i have. His elder brother is in National Service, and so he came alone. Even so, is a pent up ball of energy who never fails to brighten up our day with his explicit and pervertic jokes. Was bullied when he was younger by myself and his brother, and was called booger boy, as he was a walking pile of mucous and phlegm. How things have changed. Is now a super awesome superfreak! LOL.. Highlight of stay: When we both gang-raped my bro, making him emotionally traumatised. HAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA!

Nazrin (or Nini), age 30+- My aunt and godmother's eldest daughter. Grew up a party freak, and brought me clubbing when she came up to KL. Awesome gal, tho i didnt know that during my first few decades of life. Funny how she managed to hide her awesomeness and made sure i perceived her as a prune. But now i guess since i am old enough, she had no choice but to let her true colours out (not that i couldn't sniff it from the off la). Has poor luck with love, as with almost all the female division of the family, poor her. Highlight of stay: When we smoked together, with Ramu, all chillin' like villains. Still cant believe she does it, without her mother's knowledge. NAUGHTY NAUGHTY!

Fadlon (Ti Lon to us nephews, or Farah, as she calls herself, which sadly no one ever calls her.), age early 50s- Is the most successful sibling in my mom's family. Worked her ass off from her youth, and forsook her personal life for the collective good of the family. Such a saint. Always took us out and spent loads for our enjoyment. Is one half of the Mother Theresa of felinedom (she walks around with a bottle of cat food to feed any poor or hungry cat we encounter!!). She is extremely wealthy and now drives a spanking new C-Class! Highlight of stay: When she gave us money, also from other aunties!! WOOHOOOOO!

Wardah (Ti Dah to us nephews, and she doesnt have a glamorous name), age late 40s- Is the youngest of the Bahajaj clan, and is by far the best looking as she looks even younger than her age, much to her disagreement. Is the other half of the Mother Theresa of felinedom, and is always on the lookout for cats. Has always been there for us, and are among the few people in the family who is very objective and not biased in her views on anything. Always took us out as little children. Highlight of stay: When she drove her SUZUKI SWIFT! STEADY AH BEB! HAHAHA

Zuraidah (or Junai, as we all call her)- Was me and my bro's babysitter of sorts. We stayed at her house sometimes and she always took us out too. (Honestly i dunno why but i remember those who took me out alot better :P) is now a policewoman working as a coast guard! Has always loved felines too, albeit not as devout as the Mother Theresas. LOL. She has a 3 legged cat at her house tho. Highlight of stay: When we all went camwhoring using her phone! I looked thinner than before! WOOOHOOO!


Sadly we only had 2 days and 1 night to meet everyone, and most of the time was spent in the hotel catching up with each other and just having a blast. But it was still time well spent for me, and i loved every minute of it! Im glad i met u guys.. Miss u LOADS.. Slamat ar (Singaporean Malay's farewell)

EzzE

ISA 'gatherings'

Over the past few days, our 'kinda' peaceful nation has been bombarded by unrest; one that involves a group of people who intend to 'make' the government to abolish the Internal Security Act (hereinafter referred to as ISA).

Now before proceeding with my bashing of sorts, let us go through a refresher course (albeit a brief one, and one that thankfully DOES NOT INVOLVE CONSTITUTIONAL LAW) on what the ISA is. ISA was created in the 1950s originally to combat the communist insurgents. These bastards came in with the purpose of spreading communism (which, for the uninitiated, involved a 'classless' society where commoners don't own shit and the authority gets everything). With the promulgation of such laws, the government was empowered to arrest these nutjobs without them being able to hire the best of lawyers to help them wriggle out of situations through loopholes and technicalities of the law. In simple words, the government was given the power to arrest or detain without 'fair' trial.


The law was made in the 1950s, but its use still lingers on till this very day. We have to understand that no matter how multi-racial our country is, we are still trying to strike a balance between equality for all, and also remembering our roots, i.e. paying homage to who the original inhabitants are. Some fools feel that we need to ignore this, but it is important to note that these early inhabitants were the ones who had to bear with sudden appearances of 'aliens' on their soil, so perhaps a bit of cognizance and gratitude of their tolerance would be much appreciated. The ISA is therefore essential in ensuring that while the authorities are trying their best to strike this balance (with varying degrees of success), there would be a law that would shut ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) inflicted primates up from saying or doing things that would cause the country to end up being a pile of scorched earth and skellys.

But alas! There are still fools who think that it's cool to incite such stuff (perhaps under the misguided theory that it might be the only way to get laid) and other sensitive issues for the fun of it or supposedly for reasons they managed to cook up only after reading books on crusaders of the past. And the only thing stopping them is the dreaded ISA, which will not only mean that they will be imprisoned; it also means that the closest thing to getting laid is through hand-jobs or sleeping with inmates. So with this in mind, they decided to gather the populae who had same mental deficiencies as them, to supposedly hold a 'friendly' gathering AT A FUCKING MOSQUE. Their agenda: to eliminate the ISA.

A few things to take note of: 1) 'friendly' gatherings involving fucktards usually end up in violence, 2) trying to upset the peace of the public, who usually dont give a damn as we have many other things to do, would usually end up in tragedy and 3) intending to abolish an act that keeps us together before we are ready is a telltale sign of a retarded mind.

With that, a total of 50 plus people were arrested or detained. One thing that surprises me tho, is that over 4k people turned up. FOUR THOUSAND! I didn't know there were that many mentally retarded people roaming around the streets! Well the thing that saddens me is that these people who incite others usually tend to tap into the psyche of the masses. They target the disillusioned and the ones who feel like life has kicked them in their ass (or their 'nads); and during these troubled economic climate, there exists many. Most appallingly, these people also tend to gather at the one place that most people, even the Consti, hold sacred. The house of Allah; the mosque. I mean of all the dirty tricks one can ever do in life, mixing religion with todays political values has got to be among the worst things ever. I mean applying Islam in politics, to aid in reformation, and to practice those values is one thing i can salute, but to manipulate Islam for political or self gain? These people have gone a step too far.

One can almost notice a worrying trend. A current striker's checklist would go something like this: 1) think of something controversial and anti-government, 2) bring it up to the masses usually through the internet as its free and cheap, 3) hold it during a proper time, usually during weekends, and 4) hold it in a mosque, for added oooommph. The effects of such an act would not only paint a black mark on Malaysians, but also Islam as a whole. I mean what picture would this paint to the other religions, especially to people who are eager to enter into Islam? Surely they would think that Islam is a religion that involves hostility and striking, and are therefore disinclined to take a step further. It's these things that i fear would be our undoing.

Which is why I actually feel like at times like these, ISA is an act which is extremely crucial; not only to shut fucking retards up for the stability of our nation and the pride of our religion, but it also helps to ensure that people do not continue to inadvertently defile a whole bunch of people due to the misdeeds of a single idiot. As the saying goes, a few bad eggs spoil the batch. So to prevent the spoiling of the batch, ISA would throw away the bad eggs from the batch and kinda put them in a place where they rot and decay, away from the good eggs. That way the society would be a much better place. Now the issue is, what do we do with the remaining 3.9k people who actually got away?:P

Before I end my rambling, I have to say that I am not a true fan of ISA, and in no way do i want it to exist ad infinitum. But to intend to abolish it now is akin to cutting the umbilical cord of a baby while it is still not fully developed. The baby will die. The same thing applies to our country. We are only entering 52 years of independence; still a baby as compared to some other countries. It will take a while more before we reach an inoffensive compromise on certain issues, and even then there will still be troublemakers. That is the way of the world. In my humble opinion, the only time ISA should be abolished is when the public itself grows up. One way that signifies this maturity is that the public will not be faltered by naysayers and troublemakers. Only when WE prove OUR own maturity will it be safe for the ISA to be abolished. And at the rate things are going, and looking at how things have transpired over the past few days, it ironically proves that we are still anything but matured. Look at ourselves before we even think about the readiness of the society to a complete freedom that would most probably engulf and destroy us.

As i said before, speech is a powerful tool. But at our current state of infancy and naivety, i do feel that we are not ready. And with infants, a tight slap or a cane is needed to ensure discipline. Funny that the cane's brand is one that involves 3 letters; the ISA.


EzzE

The Lil Bro, aka The Better Looking One

Well where do i start. Its been a while since i got all sentimental and teary over my family, but i guess of late its time to start pondering over stuff. The demerits of entering adulthood i suppose. Lol. Anyway, this time its about my little bro. Who isn't little anymore, if one can call someone who is extremely well chiselled and buff little, then you ought to get shot. By the stupid gun.

Anyway, Nabil was born into unfortunate times. His birth was the exact same moment when my granddad passed on. Well a day or two adrift but yeah its kinda like a direct replacement, so his second name was made in memory of our granddad (Nabil Osman, geddit?). The dude was the cutest baby i've ever seen and was as fat as fuck. And having curly hair and being fair just added to that cuteness. He was living a good life, excelling in studies till our mom passed on. I was 12 when that happened; while he was 8. It was an extremely harrowing experience, and i must admit that it hit him pretty hard. Somehow the effects can be seen till today. He has been rather quiet, withdrawn, and lacking in skills to talk to people.

Actually I am partly to blame for his regression in social conduct. This is because i was, believe it or not, an antisocial fucktard, who was so self conscious and quiet, till i could not even approach and talk to anyone. And my lil brother followed me, thinking i was a worthy role model. As years progressed, i stepped out of that phase and still remained a fucktard, but more of an aloof joker who can get abit too crazy sometimes. But the sad thing was as i left that phase rather easily, the same couldn't be said for him. So till today he is rather quiet and has a bit of issues warming up to people, only being loud and crazy with people he trusts and has been with for a long time.

Well i do make it seem as though it is all bad, but alas, NO! What god taketh with one hand, he giveth with the other. Although he lacks the social skills of his brother, he obviously makes up with smashing good looks and a body frame to die for. There have been many who have told me he looks like an actor. It has been a common experience for me to get so many comments from my peers and family members telling me 'god ur brother is soooooooo hawt!' or 'why is he so hawt and u look like... meh..' only for me to reply coolly 'yeah, i know' or 'dunno' respectively before contemplating on the easiest and fastest means to end my life due to the feeling of inadequacy that hits me like a sledgehammer.

Actually i have a theory. And my theory is that most eldest siblings are kinda fucked in one way or another coz its the first time the genetics learn to procreate, and so will every now and then mess up a bit. But when it comes to the second sibling they kinda say to themselves 'ok we shall not fuck it up this time around' and thus churn out something slightly better (or worse, depending on how fucked the genetics are. lol) the formula improves ever so slightly down the scale of siblings so much so that the younger ones tend to be the best at some stuff or look the best or some shit like that. But what cannot be denied is that most parents love the eldest one to death coz they know how screwed up their genetics are. LOL.

Well my lil bro and i have this love hate thing going on, much similar to other siblings. We are damn derogative to each other up front, which will easily break others down, and we almost always get into physical bouts where i always manage to assert who the boss is in this kingdom (i told him the only time he will beat me is when im using a walking stick). but when it comes to talking about each other behind our backs, i dunno why but we almost always sing praises for each other and are proud we share the same genetics (or thats what i tell myself, so that i can 'cash in' on his looks. Lol) And he is by far the best lil bro/ slave/ nemesis/ wrestling partner/ smoking pal/ bed mate i'll ever have.

Yes, yes its all weird hearing this from me, but i guess i just felt like writing something coz he is sick at the moment. And is down with very high fever. It worries me alot, yes, but i cannot show it, to keep the spirits up, thus instead of letting it out in public where it might seem gayass, i decided to pen it down in my private blog just to let those feelings out in a good way. The blog is like a pressure release valve to prevent any unnecessary explosions. Well we will be taking him out to the doctor in a bit, and im really praying for his health. Please get well Billy Boy, ur bro needs u.

EzzE

The New Semester

Alas, the fun of being a bum has come to its end. Now this rusty brain has got to get its cogs oiled again, for the new semester dawns upon it. See the truth is that i am positively chuffed to meet all my friends all over again, but the most daunting part involves the studies. But so far its been ok (by 'ok' here i mean nerve splitting, brain melting, fit inducing.... you get the picture) and thus i have prepared a profile for all my lecturers who i have the privilege of seeking knowledge from. Using vastly complex algorithms and various distinct parameters all set by this crummy and crusty brain, i shall now provide a rather in depth profile of the lecturers that i am fortunately/unfortunately under:

1 Dr. Azlinor- Land Law- Petite lady, very motherly in behaviour, and has alot to talk about. She has a doctrine (albeit not enforced yet) that involves us all sitting in a fixed position so she can memorize us to ensure that we do not skip her lectures. Sadly, she has managed to memorise my name and remember me by the second class, so skipping her class is definitely out of the question. And it is of such gigantic irony that her class is the first class, starting at 8 in the morning. Oh what joy...

2 Dr. Mushera- Company Law- Rather tall lady with seemingly indian descent, she has a hawk like stare; much akin to a glare (god i should be a poet). Is the most intimidating looking and behaving lecturer, and merely affirms the words of caution from the seniors past. Has the special ability to shrink an elder male's scrotum with her savagely razor-sharp words. Case proven in class one day which shall not be disclosed for fear of a lawsuit for defamation.

3 Prof. Abd Ghafur- Public International Law- Quite tall and thin chinese looking wizened man, who speaks in an Indian accent which therefore brings to light his a Burmese descent (Public International Lor). Has a special ability to make most students fall asleep in his class, and teaches by the book. Literally! But he is a nice person, and strangely his sights kept veering towards me, making it very hard to fall asleep (he must be thinking 'by god what an ugly mofo i have as a student!') I hope his marking style will be rather laid back tho..

4 Prof. Syed Khalid- Equity and Trusts- Medium build balding man, from Kashmir (which has got to be among the most suave sounding places EVER! Try saying it with a Sean Connery accent) is a pretty aloof guy, almost unsure of what he is teaching. His special ability is giving very sound and awesome advice and quotes, and forgetting where he got it from! Sadly his lectures have not started yet and i am clueless as to what is to be expected. Here's hoping for the best!

5 Ustaz Mamahat Ariffin- So forgettable and anonymous that i cannot even remember his name (now i do :P)! Small build and of Malay descent, he teaches us usul fiqh. According to seniors he seems to be a nice guy, and will be ok in the long run. He has two special abilities, i.e. 1) inducing extreme sleepiness, even more powerful than Prof. Ghafur (refer to #3), as he can cause extreme sleepiness in people, even though his class is at 11 am 2) power to cause forgetfulness in people, so that people are clueless as to what they are learning or studying about, even after full lectures.

6 Prof Samsah Kamar- Banking Law- Now i have saved the best for last. He is of Malay descent, small yet slightly plump, he teaches pretty well. Has promoted me to become the doorman (one who always has to get the key to open the doors of classes) and has had a heart bypass done to him while he was in the States (or was it Canada?), and so is telling us life is very important. Even told us to be cool if we failed and chill out. Award for most cool lecturer? HELL YEAH! His special ability is to induce repentance in a person, for every class starts with the pondering of a hadith and the singing of a salawat. It is pretty hilarious and ironic, as we are learning the ways of riba and we start with hadith and salawat. Guess it cancels out the corrupted knowledge. Lol.

So far this is my conclusive, yet inexhaustive results of researching about my lecturers through my scientfic means. I shall update thee, my followers, on whether my predictions were spot on, or whether they were all hogwash created by a demented mental idiot who had nothing better to do. Anyways i hope you peeps had a laugh from it. Will be writing on my tutors on my next post. Till then, cheerio! FB has to hibernate..


EzzE

Beware... I Live!

And so awakened from the ashes is the Machinations of EzzE, which has been kinda dead of late due to the lack of connectivity. Lol. Internet at home has been iffy to say the least, and now i finally have a decent connection! For how long it will last is entirely beyond me. Anway its great to wield the keyboard again and be prepared for a whole lot more posts that will prod your critical mind (or bore you to death), or just more updates and cheap talk about myself and my insignificant life (not because i have no one to talk to. i do!), and just my 2 cents on anything under the sun worth giving 2 cents to (or about). So stay tuned for more from me! FB is back in da house!!!


EzzE

Confidence - Invaluable moral lessons

As has been moped about before in alot of my previous posts, we live in a superficial world that focuses on the facade than the inside. One sure-fire way to always leave a lasting impression and get a person through all obstacles come what may is 'confidence'. I myself would define confidence as the assurance one has towards something, and the strong belief and trust one has put in it.

Confidence has various manifestations. One can put confidence in someone, or in an object or thing, or one can even put confidence in oneself. Usually, as with experience, putting confidence in someone or in an object would almost always lead to failure, especially when one underperforms or the object, as with everything in this world, does not last. I can assure you, the dear reader of my blog, that most of the time, putting confidence in someone or an object will lead to your very own downfall, in some way or another.

My personal experience of putting confidence in people is rather tragic. As has been so in every facet of my life, i have at one point or another put some form of confidence in a person to carry out his or her responsibilities, or the very least, to keep something a secret. And more often than not almost everyone has, in some way or another, found a multitude of ways to screw things up, be it slightly or majorly; be it intentionally or unintentionally. I am usually ok with unintentional acts of screwing up my confidence in these certain people. I usually hold grudges against others when they intentionally screw up, and think it is all just a game and shrug it off. Imbecilic heathens.

Then what about confidence in oneself? I do admit that having self confidence is an invaluable asset. The self confidence you have and apply can be an infectious and contagious trait that can bolster the morale of people around you, and is an awesome attribute to obtain, especially for leaders. But as with everything good, there is always a flipside.

The problem arises when one's self confidence reaches new heights that are disproportionate to ones abilities. Usually this swelling up of one's confidence can also be akin to what we call being cocky. Often one can hear or ever encountered cocksure people 'having self confidence' to tackle a certain conundrum and usually failing along the way. Why is this so you may ask? Apart from the obvious fact that in some cases one can fail oneself, it is the fact that the confidence one has has swelled up to the point of ballooning and exaggerating ones own abilities so much so that ones abilities become much more hyped up than it actually is. In other words, constant assurance by yourself and your abilities often leaves you complacent enough to not bother about self improvisation. This leads to a stagnation in abilities, and this alone is a crucial error to make in an ever improving world.

On a divine note, it could also be because when one gets so air headed with ones own abilities, one begins to think more of oneself than ones creator. Knowledge has the power to give confidence to anyone who wields it, and with knowledge one can rule the world, if utilized properly. But we must remember that we are still merely humans. And as the angels said in Al-Baqarah:23 'O Lord! We have no knowledge apart from what knowledge has been taught to us by you...'. We have no knowledge as we stand. What could possibly make us think that we are at a level above angels; the entities who are in constant communion with God? Iblis defied God when asked to bow down to Adam, and look what happened to him. He was so cocky of his status and abilities till he inadvertently defied his own creator. I can safely say that cocky humans are treading down that similar path, and i can assume that their downfall is their price to pay, just as how Iblis paid for his impudence and insolence.

If one is astute enough, one might have impliedly noticed one exception to who one can place confidence in - Our God. He is the one who will be with us through our toughest times, and he is the one who will stick with us come what may. Most importantly he is our provider. Of life and knowledge. It is him that has to be given credit when we score well or when we succeed in any way, as nothing can be done or succeeded if He does not intend it to be so.

In my case, it may seem like i have confidence, especially in classes and lectures, but i can safely say that it is all a facade. I do realise the importane of 'showing' your confidence to people that matter; people who will be your assessors, people who will hire you, and even people who are against you, though it has to always be carefully meted out to ensure that it is confidence, and not cockiness. But deep down inside i have never been confident of 'my' abilities. Because truth be told, it is not mine. It is a gift from the divine powers; one that can be taken back at the snap of His fingers, leaving me a dumb husk of a person who was once priding himself for his supposedly hard-earned abilities and attributes.

Many people have become annoyed by my 'humbleness'. The thing is, i am not humble. I am just stating things as they are. Why would i want to pride myself over something that is not mine? It is a gift that i got, and yes, i will use it to its fullest. But i will never pride or claim ownership over it, and i shall forever remain who i am. Just a human being.

I can attribute the so-so grades i got to two main things - God, coz it is seriously beyond my control considering how little effort i put to studying, and my mother and father, coz they are the ones who till this very day tirelessly pray for my success in this world and the next. Just that one does it in this world and the other does it in the grave. But i am eternally thankful for their endeavours, and i shall try my best to not fail them.

Another facet of self-confidence is associated with looks. I reckon that one has to be confident with how one looks like, and must be able to accept themselves for who they are. This is something i have tried hard to do, and i guess i have finally succeeded in accepting myself for who i am; though it doesn't mean i like what i accept. It's akin to a parent. He or she can accept a rebel child as their child, but that doesn't mean they like what they accept. Haha.. But whatever it is i am still grateful that i am not deformed or retarded in anyway at all (just a bit excessive. Haha! But then i tell myself overdelivery is always better than underdelivery..:P) I guess we must be thankful and happy with what we have, and we must always look at those who are less fortunate than ourselves, than look at those who are more fortunate. Though it is not wrong to look at those who are more fortunate than us as stepping stones, or yardsticks to aspire to in the future, again to prevent stagnation in any way at all.

To sum up my traumatically vivid experiences and ramblings, the moral of the story is that confidence, especially self-confidence, is important in such a superficial world, and one should have it to be able to rise up in rank in the world today. One just has to make sure that confidence here does not lead to complacency and cockiness, and forgetting ones roots and status in this, sadly, God-forgetting world we're living in today.


Cheers,
EzzE