The New Semester

Alas, the fun of being a bum has come to its end. Now this rusty brain has got to get its cogs oiled again, for the new semester dawns upon it. See the truth is that i am positively chuffed to meet all my friends all over again, but the most daunting part involves the studies. But so far its been ok (by 'ok' here i mean nerve splitting, brain melting, fit inducing.... you get the picture) and thus i have prepared a profile for all my lecturers who i have the privilege of seeking knowledge from. Using vastly complex algorithms and various distinct parameters all set by this crummy and crusty brain, i shall now provide a rather in depth profile of the lecturers that i am fortunately/unfortunately under:

1 Dr. Azlinor- Land Law- Petite lady, very motherly in behaviour, and has alot to talk about. She has a doctrine (albeit not enforced yet) that involves us all sitting in a fixed position so she can memorize us to ensure that we do not skip her lectures. Sadly, she has managed to memorise my name and remember me by the second class, so skipping her class is definitely out of the question. And it is of such gigantic irony that her class is the first class, starting at 8 in the morning. Oh what joy...

2 Dr. Mushera- Company Law- Rather tall lady with seemingly indian descent, she has a hawk like stare; much akin to a glare (god i should be a poet). Is the most intimidating looking and behaving lecturer, and merely affirms the words of caution from the seniors past. Has the special ability to shrink an elder male's scrotum with her savagely razor-sharp words. Case proven in class one day which shall not be disclosed for fear of a lawsuit for defamation.

3 Prof. Abd Ghafur- Public International Law- Quite tall and thin chinese looking wizened man, who speaks in an Indian accent which therefore brings to light his a Burmese descent (Public International Lor). Has a special ability to make most students fall asleep in his class, and teaches by the book. Literally! But he is a nice person, and strangely his sights kept veering towards me, making it very hard to fall asleep (he must be thinking 'by god what an ugly mofo i have as a student!') I hope his marking style will be rather laid back tho..

4 Prof. Syed Khalid- Equity and Trusts- Medium build balding man, from Kashmir (which has got to be among the most suave sounding places EVER! Try saying it with a Sean Connery accent) is a pretty aloof guy, almost unsure of what he is teaching. His special ability is giving very sound and awesome advice and quotes, and forgetting where he got it from! Sadly his lectures have not started yet and i am clueless as to what is to be expected. Here's hoping for the best!

5 Ustaz Mamahat Ariffin- So forgettable and anonymous that i cannot even remember his name (now i do :P)! Small build and of Malay descent, he teaches us usul fiqh. According to seniors he seems to be a nice guy, and will be ok in the long run. He has two special abilities, i.e. 1) inducing extreme sleepiness, even more powerful than Prof. Ghafur (refer to #3), as he can cause extreme sleepiness in people, even though his class is at 11 am 2) power to cause forgetfulness in people, so that people are clueless as to what they are learning or studying about, even after full lectures.

6 Prof Samsah Kamar- Banking Law- Now i have saved the best for last. He is of Malay descent, small yet slightly plump, he teaches pretty well. Has promoted me to become the doorman (one who always has to get the key to open the doors of classes) and has had a heart bypass done to him while he was in the States (or was it Canada?), and so is telling us life is very important. Even told us to be cool if we failed and chill out. Award for most cool lecturer? HELL YEAH! His special ability is to induce repentance in a person, for every class starts with the pondering of a hadith and the singing of a salawat. It is pretty hilarious and ironic, as we are learning the ways of riba and we start with hadith and salawat. Guess it cancels out the corrupted knowledge. Lol.

So far this is my conclusive, yet inexhaustive results of researching about my lecturers through my scientfic means. I shall update thee, my followers, on whether my predictions were spot on, or whether they were all hogwash created by a demented mental idiot who had nothing better to do. Anyways i hope you peeps had a laugh from it. Will be writing on my tutors on my next post. Till then, cheerio! FB has to hibernate..


EzzE

Beware... I Live!

And so awakened from the ashes is the Machinations of EzzE, which has been kinda dead of late due to the lack of connectivity. Lol. Internet at home has been iffy to say the least, and now i finally have a decent connection! For how long it will last is entirely beyond me. Anway its great to wield the keyboard again and be prepared for a whole lot more posts that will prod your critical mind (or bore you to death), or just more updates and cheap talk about myself and my insignificant life (not because i have no one to talk to. i do!), and just my 2 cents on anything under the sun worth giving 2 cents to (or about). So stay tuned for more from me! FB is back in da house!!!


EzzE