Sunday, March 29, 2009

Confidence - Invaluable moral lessons

As has been moped about before in alot of my previous posts, we live in a superficial world that focuses on the facade than the inside. One sure-fire way to always leave a lasting impression and get a person through all obstacles come what may is 'confidence'. I myself would define confidence as the assurance one has towards something, and the strong belief and trust one has put in it.

Confidence has various manifestations. One can put confidence in someone, or in an object or thing, or one can even put confidence in oneself. Usually, as with experience, putting confidence in someone or in an object would almost always lead to failure, especially when one underperforms or the object, as with everything in this world, does not last. I can assure you, the dear reader of my blog, that most of the time, putting confidence in someone or an object will lead to your very own downfall, in some way or another.

My personal experience of putting confidence in people is rather tragic. As has been so in every facet of my life, i have at one point or another put some form of confidence in a person to carry out his or her responsibilities, or the very least, to keep something a secret. And more often than not almost everyone has, in some way or another, found a multitude of ways to screw things up, be it slightly or majorly; be it intentionally or unintentionally. I am usually ok with unintentional acts of screwing up my confidence in these certain people. I usually hold grudges against others when they intentionally screw up, and think it is all just a game and shrug it off. Imbecilic heathens.

Then what about confidence in oneself? I do admit that having self confidence is an invaluable asset. The self confidence you have and apply can be an infectious and contagious trait that can bolster the morale of people around you, and is an awesome attribute to obtain, especially for leaders. But as with everything good, there is always a flipside.

The problem arises when one's self confidence reaches new heights that are disproportionate to ones abilities. Usually this swelling up of one's confidence can also be akin to what we call being cocky. Often one can hear or ever encountered cocksure people 'having self confidence' to tackle a certain conundrum and usually failing along the way. Why is this so you may ask? Apart from the obvious fact that in some cases one can fail oneself, it is the fact that the confidence one has has swelled up to the point of ballooning and exaggerating ones own abilities so much so that ones abilities become much more hyped up than it actually is. In other words, constant assurance by yourself and your abilities often leaves you complacent enough to not bother about self improvisation. This leads to a stagnation in abilities, and this alone is a crucial error to make in an ever improving world.

On a divine note, it could also be because when one gets so air headed with ones own abilities, one begins to think more of oneself than ones creator. Knowledge has the power to give confidence to anyone who wields it, and with knowledge one can rule the world, if utilized properly. But we must remember that we are still merely humans. And as the angels said in Al-Baqarah:23 'O Lord! We have no knowledge apart from what knowledge has been taught to us by you...'. We have no knowledge as we stand. What could possibly make us think that we are at a level above angels; the entities who are in constant communion with God? Iblis defied God when asked to bow down to Adam, and look what happened to him. He was so cocky of his status and abilities till he inadvertently defied his own creator. I can safely say that cocky humans are treading down that similar path, and i can assume that their downfall is their price to pay, just as how Iblis paid for his impudence and insolence.

If one is astute enough, one might have impliedly noticed one exception to who one can place confidence in - Our God. He is the one who will be with us through our toughest times, and he is the one who will stick with us come what may. Most importantly he is our provider. Of life and knowledge. It is him that has to be given credit when we score well or when we succeed in any way, as nothing can be done or succeeded if He does not intend it to be so.

In my case, it may seem like i have confidence, especially in classes and lectures, but i can safely say that it is all a facade. I do realise the importane of 'showing' your confidence to people that matter; people who will be your assessors, people who will hire you, and even people who are against you, though it has to always be carefully meted out to ensure that it is confidence, and not cockiness. But deep down inside i have never been confident of 'my' abilities. Because truth be told, it is not mine. It is a gift from the divine powers; one that can be taken back at the snap of His fingers, leaving me a dumb husk of a person who was once priding himself for his supposedly hard-earned abilities and attributes.

Many people have become annoyed by my 'humbleness'. The thing is, i am not humble. I am just stating things as they are. Why would i want to pride myself over something that is not mine? It is a gift that i got, and yes, i will use it to its fullest. But i will never pride or claim ownership over it, and i shall forever remain who i am. Just a human being.

I can attribute the so-so grades i got to two main things - God, coz it is seriously beyond my control considering how little effort i put to studying, and my mother and father, coz they are the ones who till this very day tirelessly pray for my success in this world and the next. Just that one does it in this world and the other does it in the grave. But i am eternally thankful for their endeavours, and i shall try my best to not fail them.

Another facet of self-confidence is associated with looks. I reckon that one has to be confident with how one looks like, and must be able to accept themselves for who they are. This is something i have tried hard to do, and i guess i have finally succeeded in accepting myself for who i am; though it doesn't mean i like what i accept. It's akin to a parent. He or she can accept a rebel child as their child, but that doesn't mean they like what they accept. Haha.. But whatever it is i am still grateful that i am not deformed or retarded in anyway at all (just a bit excessive. Haha! But then i tell myself overdelivery is always better than underdelivery..:P) I guess we must be thankful and happy with what we have, and we must always look at those who are less fortunate than ourselves, than look at those who are more fortunate. Though it is not wrong to look at those who are more fortunate than us as stepping stones, or yardsticks to aspire to in the future, again to prevent stagnation in any way at all.

To sum up my traumatically vivid experiences and ramblings, the moral of the story is that confidence, especially self-confidence, is important in such a superficial world, and one should have it to be able to rise up in rank in the world today. One just has to make sure that confidence here does not lead to complacency and cockiness, and forgetting ones roots and status in this, sadly, God-forgetting world we're living in today.


Cheers,
EzzE

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Unchained Mouth

Lately after studying Constitutional Law (horrific subject i tell you!!!) i came across a topic that was surprisingly interesting. The topic i am talking about is fundamental liberties, in the Federal Constitution. These liberties vary from freedom of life, to movement, even to religion. But one that interests me the most, and perhaps the most relevant in my blog, is the one regarding freedom of speech.

Now freedom of speech is enumerated in Art. 10 of the federal constitution. It basically provides freedom of one's speech, but as with almost all 'freedoms', it comes with some restrictions, such as the prevention of talking about the special privileges of Malays and also the special position and immunity of our Malay rulers.

The issue on many people's minds is 'should there be an absolute freedom, like those in Western countries like (i damn myself for saying this) the US of A?'

Freedom of speech is an extremely powerful tool. Words alone can either win over supporters or even lose all of them. Even in the pages of history, it was learnt that Hitler himself recorded propaganda and transmitted them through speakers all over Germany all day long. Imagine speakers blaring all day repeating glorified words of a leader or patriotic phrases ordering people to stand up for one's own country. No wonder people at that time were won over. But this is just one of many instances where the power of words won over the masses. Put in the right hands the power of words can be an extremely potent force. If it falls in the wrong hands, it is almost certain that chaos would ensue.

It is with this in mind that the restrictions set out in the Article were drafted - to prevent miscreants from using such freedom to sow the seeds of discontent and chaos. This is also in line with the cheesy and perhaps even corny quote by Peter Parker's (to those who don't know who he is, SHOOT YOURSELF) uncle, Ben Parker 'With great power comes great responsibility'. And somehow in my opinion, i believe that we Malaysians aren't responsible enough yet to be given the absolute power to speak about whatever the hell we want.

You see even with such restrictions, we have various self-proclaimed anarchists thinking it is cool to bring up something controversial just for a chance to be heard. Then being glorified and dubbed as 'martyrs' to their cause when they get caught by local authorities and detained under the Internal Security Act (ISA, people..) Perhaps they suffered from an incomplete childhood, and were not given proper attention while they were adolescents. All they need is a hug from their mothers or a small kiss on the forehead. Maybe a bedtime story and a nice tucking in IN A FUCKING ASYLUM.

My stand on freedom of speech? It's rather simple. I do believe that it is still necessary and vital to maintain the existence of such laws, especially for the sake of public order and security. We do not need a modern day Karl Marx or someone or other trying to be an anarchist and rallying disillusioned people (of which plenty exist) to stand for an arbitrary cause. Need evidence? Just look at the HINDRAF fiasco not too long ago. Such foolish demands and ideals would only be followed by fools themselves. But as has been proven, plenty of such people do exist. Disillusionment brings forth discontent and the dumbing of the brain, in search of any means to gain fame or even money. Besides that, there has been so much discontent bubbling about within the non-Malay masses on the rights and privileges of Malays, that the feeling of discontent breeding about is palpable. It's akin to a balloon filled with water almost to breaking point. All it takes is for someone to supposedly 'stand up' against such laws to cause our delicate balance to come crashing down. It would be like a small prick to the abovementioned water-filled balloon. Disaster would strike. Again, it is with this in mind that the parliament implemented such restrictions. It is like the parents or guardians (the parliament) taking the pin from the fucking retard of a small kid suffering from ADD (the aggravator) who is desperately trying to prick the balloon.

But though i do believe that it is absolutely necessary considering the delicate and troubled times, especially now with the economic downturn exacerbating things further, i do also believe that it is something that should never remain static in the Constitution. Why, you may ask, am i contradicting myself? My answer to the question posed is that you must shut up and be patient while i explain.

You see, although those restrictions are necessary, they have become a sort of excuse for us Malays to become complacent; hushing down the sad truth that we have become sorely weakened by the perks that have been given to us. To paraphrase the words of Pak Lah 'if one uses crutches for too long, taking it away would require the use of wheelchairs instead'. Of course he is referring to the privileges of the Malays and how we have become too dependent on it. Yes i do agree too that taking away the privileges absolutely would make Malaysia an enlarged version of Singapore (which means i have to migrate again coz that was what i was trying to run away from). But i do believe also that over reliance of such perks would only serve to weaken us even further than those around us, who have managed to rise up without even having to resort to benefits and perks. We as Malays have to realise that the longer we rely on such perks, the more powerful other races around us become, all gearing up to usurp us from what is rightfully ours. Therefore perhaps the people who bring up such forbidden topics up are doing us an implied favour by serving us a grim reminder that if we Malays do not change and improve ourselves, we might have our own lands snatched from our very eyes, albeit in a subtle but evil kind of way. Therefore my proposal would be to reduce such perks as of now, to allow the Malays to adapt and to get back on their feet, and perhaps after they are on par or even better than the rest of the races (which may take ages) then the re-implementation of such laws can take place. Yes one may hear howls of anguish and cries of dismay, but to put it in a more logical manner, an old and injured person screams and cries out in pain initially when his cane is taken away from him, but it is done so that he will straighten himself out and adapt to the circimstances, hopefully being able to walk tall again, and then the cane can be given back to him as decoration and embellishment, much like a pimp who does not really need the cane, but is happy he has it (yes yes, lousy comparison, but i couldnt think of any other fit person who would want to use a cane. So shut up and bear with it :P). But if he then rolls up in a fetal position and throws a tantrum, pretty soon no one would care, and it would give people the chance to easily take away all his stuff while he is too busy being a lil' bitch.

Despite all of this, i do think that this law is quite draconian only for the fact that although one may not say something, one may still think about it. It may be bubbling, even festering in one's mind, but as soon as others talk about such stuff, the infection and rot will spread into the minds of others, and pretty soon an epidemic will start. So the freedom of speech is an essential law, though there are still no laws limiting the freedom of thought.:P imagine a gang of psychic hitmen law enforcers that eradicate or abduct anyone who even thinks about such restrictions. I am getting ahead of myself here, but i guess the restrictions of the freedom of speech are primarily to prevent the public broadcasting and propagating of such abhorrent ideals, for the sake of a greater good. (you may refer to my older post entitled 'united we stand, divided we fall?' for a glimpse into what i think about the machinations of a society, but with the current state of things and how society is as it is, the greater good is still essential)

So to prevent any more headache as it is, to sum it all up, i do believe that the restrictions enumerated in Art. 10 regarding the freedom of speech is essential, although i do say that it cannot be put there forever, and we Malays should not remain ignorant and complacent with regards to the status quo of things as they are, lest we would be overthrown in our own country, with history repeating itself (Singapore, anyone?) though i do know of my good friend who said that we will never learn from history and the mistakes of our brethren from the past, i do hope that this is a general rule, and that as with every general rule there will be exceptions, i.e. in this situation we are in right now.

And for a closing note, to those who think that the liberties that are claimed by people in the (damn myself again) US of A are absolute, think again (yeah fools). Though they can say whatever the hell they want, when they want and where they want to, all their phone calls are monitored by the Puppet Master. And besides, they still have something called the Patriot Act (which is something like an act we are all too familiar about). So to have less freedom and more privacy, or 'absolute freedom' and no privacy?? You decide....

*Disclaimer* the views of this blogger is enitrely his own. He has no intentions to propagate it publicly or even bring such matter up to create a fiasco. There is never any mala fide involved and no one is to publish part of or the whole of this post without prior permission, be it written or oral or other reasonable forms of communication. Upon publishing, the writer of this post shall not be liable for any controversy or hubbub that ensues from such publishing, and liability is to be wholly incurred upon the publisher for being such a fool.

Cheers,
eZz

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Birthday Blues

Well for the uninitiated, my birthday came and passed without much fanfare. Which is exaclty how i want things to be. But anyways, the 10th of March marked the day this insignificant being popped out of his mothers womb and started wreaking havoc. But somehow i was really depressed on my birthday. This could boil down to a number of reasons:

The first probable reason was that this was the big day, the day i left my teenagerdom. And i tell you, it was the worst day of my life. I felt really old. It sucked. So i stayed at home most of the day and played around with my Hot Wheels, to remind myself that i am still a kid at heart! And turns out the Hot Wheels did do a pretty darn good job!

The second probable reason was that my dad didn't get me anything for my birthday. He promised me a present though. So lets just see what he will get me.. Hehe.. Though my cousin did get me a present, which was very sweet of him.

The third probable reason was that i was angry coz i was reminded of how my birthday was with my ex. It was pretty boring. I got a book on Abe Lincoln which she said reminded her of me, which, incidentally i haven't even started reading.:P so its here just collecting dust. Though i am saving it for burning material just in case climate change brings forth a new ice age. LOL!

The third probable reason was that had i been born a day earlier, i would have been having a fucking holiday coz the day before was maulidul rasul.. Argh. So on my birthday i made it a point to intentionally skip all my day classes and only go for the night class. Which sucked.

The fourth probable reason was that my dad did buy pizza for the whole family to eat, which we brought to A MAMAK SHOP.. argh.. But overall the pizza tasted pretty good. While the lasagna didn't. Note to all: Don't EVER buy Canadian 2 4 1 pizza's lasagna. Overpriced and tasted, to put it nicely, LIKE SHIT. At least the pizza tasted good. Pity i puked it all out the next morning. Sigh.

Well all in all this was the worst birthday. Though a couple of friends did help me out and made it less fucked up. We went out the next day and had a jolly good time! Well so it didn't turn out to be so crappy after all. But i will update this blog if i do get a prezzie from my dad. I hope it's BIG.. Till next time, i hope your birthdays aren't as fucked up as mine.

Cheers
eZz

Friday, March 20, 2009

Quotable quotes 4


Well hello there! Yes its been ages since i abandoned this keyboard and my apologies for that, my fellow blog followers. The fear of failing in any subject this semester proved to be a good enough reason to deter this avid writer of bollocks from touching the keyboard. But now since i have some time to spare, i would like to share with you a quote i discovered from Leonardo Da Vinci:



'Simplicity is the new sophistication'


This quote seems to perfectly sum up all that i admire in people and the world itself. See as everyone outside tries their best to actually attract the most attention (a walk around Bukit Bintang would surely convert any skeptics :P) through extremely gaudy, eye catching and glitzy fashion, its the simple, unglamorous and understated ones that usually catch mine eye and admiration. Scientifically, this could be because such fashion leaves a person to focus on the more important physical aspects of a person (ok this is NOT what you think think. I MEANT THE FACE!!). But i think it is a good tactic employed by fugly people to attract attention to themselves. Which is why one more thing i notice is that those who dress up too much seem to look like people suffering from elephantitis. Me? I'm happy just the way i am, which is rotund, yet in a cuddly kind of way. No clothes can cover that, and no amount of covering up and deception may change that fact..:P

The funny thing is that this quote not only extends to fashion, it also applies to most other objects with aesthetic value. Cars, for example, look better as an understatedly stylish fom of transportation; not with tacked on pieces to make a car look like something it is not. Speaking of tacking on, I once saw a waja with a bodykit that looked like a BMW, with the infamous 'kidney grille' and the moment i stopped in front of him, with him seeing the real thing, he hotfooted as quickly as possible to somewhere unknown perhaps to save face or to kill himself. But the moral of the story here is being simplistic is always the best way to go. There really is nothing wrong with driving a Malaysian car. Truth be told i would have been happy owning a proton anyways. Just never ever try to be something you aren't. As a reference just look at the potential embarrassment of the pic i just discovered while browsing through the net. The horror...

Even for homes, the best houses are always those with minimalistic designs, with the whole unit acting cohesively, with delicate and subtle details that might escape your attention once, but soon start to get unearthed as days go by. This means one will never get bored of the whole design, and the immaculate detailing will be something that i reckon will never ever be tiresome. That is how i would model my house in the future. This is opposed to a hodge-podge of various designs all vying to attract your attention. Such a mismatching theme that overloads senses, in my opinion, can only be applied to one thing: food, glorious food..

One thing that has to be realised is that simplicity always works best with the other word, subtlety. If one can control and master both elements together, one can conquer the world!! Well in design and aesthetic aspects nonetheless.:P

But really, i cannot agree more with the quote. It is so refreshing to know that you share the same point of view as one of the world's greatest men who ever lived. I live for simplicity, and it is something i look up to and admire in a person. So to simply put it, KEEP IT SIMPLE!

Cheers,
eZz